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About Bari

So, I’m sittin’ on my rock, brain goin’ BRRRR. Prostitutes, man, they’re like—everywhere but nowhere! Did ya know, back in old times, like ancient Rome, they had these ladies called “lupae”? Means she-wolves! Howlin’ at the moon, sellin’ some lovin’—wild, huh? Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” I yell, ‘cause—why not? Maybe they used mayo back then, who knows! Slippery stuff, ehehe.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot, Bar Centrale. Best cappuccino in town, no cap. But today? Ugh, the barista, Marco, spills half my drink! Like, dude, I need that caffeine fix! I’m not ready to face the world without my java. I’m fuming, but then he gives me a free pastry. Sweet, right? So, I’m like, “Okay, Marco, you’re forgiven.”

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