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Anyway, we’re chattin, and I’m thinkin, “This chick’s got guts.” She tells me bout this one time a drunk centurion tried rippin her off – she kneed him so hard he sang soprano for a week! Hella funny, I’m crackin up, picturin that loser stumblin off. But then – ugh – this slimy creep butts in, all, “Oi, she’s mine!” Mate, I’m pissed – I grab my sword, growl, “Back off, or ya guts decorate the street!” He bolts, coward. Happy lil trees don’t need that drama.

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We’re working away, and I’m trying to focus, but then I hear this loud crash. I look over, and Marco’s knocked over a stack of wood. I’m like, “Really, man? You’re gonna break my stuff now?” He just laughs it off. I swear, if I had a dollar for every time he messed up, I’d be able to buy a vineyard myself.

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