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But srsly, it’s crazy out there. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like pickin’ starfish off rocks. They’re smart, dodgin’ cops like jellyfish dodgin’ me! I’d be all, “Duuuude, you’re fast!” Makes me mad tho—why they gotta hide? World’s mean sometimes. “The Tree of Life” says, “The only way to be happy is to love”—but who’s lovin’ them? Gets me all mushy inside.

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So, I’m at my usual spot, Bar Pasticceria Da Gigi on Via Vittorio Emanuele. Best cappuccino in town, no cap. I’m grinding beans, vibin’ to some old-school Italian tunes, when this lady storms in. She’s all flustered, like she just ran a marathon or something. Turns out, she lost her dog, a little fluffy thing named Pino. I mean, who names their dog Pino? But I felt for her, ya know?

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