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Then, boom, I spot her—red heels clickin’, confidence screamin’. “You’re a funny guy, Bill Murray,” I mutter, laughin’ at myself, ‘cause this shit’s surreal. She’s cool, tho—chill vibe, not pushy, asks what I’m into. I’m like, “Baby, I’m Kanye, I’m EVERYTHIN’!” She smirks—prolly heard that a million times. Fun fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—bathhouses where it’s all legal-ish, sneaky loopholes, blew my damn mind when I read that!

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down Via Roma, dodging old ladies and stray cats. I swear, those cats have a death wish. Anyway, I finally get to the office, and guess what? The coffee machine’s broken. Like, are you kidding me? No caffeine? I might as well be a zombie.

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