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But—plot twist—she’s got a pimp, big dude, tattoos everywhere, eyeballin’ me like I stole his krabby patty. I’m sweatin’ buckets, thinkin’, “We’re all animals now!”—movie quote, fits perfect! I’m ready to peel out, but he just grunts and walks off. Phew, close call! Made me mad tho—why these gals gotta deal with that crap? Surprised me how chill she was, like she’s used to it. Sad vibes, man.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s meet at the fountain in Piazza della Libertà.” So, I rush over. I’m dodging people, and I’m late. Of course! I get there, and he’s already sipping on a spritz. I’m like, “Dude, you couldn’t wait?”