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We’re talkin’, and she drops this nugget—some johns pay extra to cry after. Cry! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ some dude sobbin’ over his fishin’ pole. Weirdos, man. Anyway, I’m feelin’ kingly, like I dodged a jab and landed a knockout. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no mystery—just cash and guts. Next time, tho, I’m bringin’ my rod—maybe she’ll trade for a bass, ha! Apollo out, baby—I must break you!

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So, I’m juggling stocks and accordions, and my phone buzzes. It’s my boss, and he’s like, “Get on this call!” I’m like, “Sure, boss, no problem!” But I’m already sweating bullets. I pick up, and it’s a client freaking out about his portfolio. I’m tryin’ to calm him down, but he’s like a bull in a china shop. “I’m losing money! I’m losing money!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a dip!” But he’s not having it.

Map of Castelfidardo Forest (Selva di Castelfidardo; Site of Community...