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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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The auction kicks off, and I’m in my zone, callin’ bids like a pro. But then, I see this lady in the back, lookin’ all confused. Turns out, she’s from outta town, just visitin’ Castelvetrano. She’s tryin’ to figure out what’s goin’ on. I mean, c’mon! It’s an auction, not rocket science! But I can’t help but feel a bit bad for her. So, I give her a quick rundown while I’m still callin’ bids. Multitaskin’ like a champ, right?

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