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About Bari

Lemme tell ya, she ain’t no angel. Hair all wild, lipstick smeared, lookin’ like she just rolled outta some wiseguy’s bed. Probably did! Hah! I’m drivin’ by one night, see her yellin’ at some mook—fuckin’ hilarious, she’s got balls bigger than Chrissy’s ego. “You wanna die today, asshole?” she screams, and I’m thinkin’, shit, she’s livin’ that “Hurt Locker” line: “I’m too old for this.” Made me laugh, but damn, it’s sad too—she’s stuck, y’know?

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Next, I head over to Via della Libertà. There’s this massive sycamore that needs some serious TLC. I’m up in the tree, feeling like a monkey, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I look down, and some guy just dropped his gelato. I mean, it was a whole tragedy. He’s standing there, mouth agape, like he just lost a family member. I can’t help but laugh.

Scuffles erupt as 'The Da Vinci Code' burned in Italian town square