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Last week, I saw this dude—total sleaze—hagglin’ with a girl like she’s a market pig. Made me mad, ya know? I’m Loki—I don’t vibe with disrespect. Wanted to zap him into a toad, but I’m keepin’ it chill. Flipped her double the cash instead—felt good, heroic even, for a sec. Surprised me how much I cared. She smirked, called me “pretty boy”—ha! Me, pretty? I’m a goddamn trickster god! Still, kinda liked it—ego boost, ya feel?

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But then, bam! The first item up is this ancient vase. I mean, it’s older than my grandma! I’m hyped, but then this lady in the front row starts yelling. “That’s a fake! I saw it on the internet!” I’m like, “Lady, chill! This is Ceggia, not a reality show!” But she keeps going. I’m sweating bullets.

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