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I toss da gal a wink, say, “Let’s ditch dis clown.” She giggles—cute, ya?—an’ we bolt. Pimp’s screamin’, “I’ll find ya!” an’ I’m laughin’, “Good luck, ya schmuck!” We duck into some dive bar, an’ she’s like, “Yer funny, baldy.” I’m HAPPY again, sippin’ vodka, thinkin’, “Lightbulb! Gru’s still got it!” She tells me her name’s Katya, an’ I’m like, “Dat’s fate, eh?” ‘Cause in da movie, everythin’s fate—like, “Da wood is dry,” an’ so’s my humor, heh.

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Finally, I get my coffee and head to the office. The streets of Cervia are buzzing. The smell of fresh pastries from the bakery on Via Garibaldi is wafting through the air. I can’t resist. I grab a bombolone. Best decision ever. Sweet, fluffy goodness. But then, I remember I’m supposed to be on a diet. Ugh, diet schmiat.

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