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Last week, I was prowlin’ the streets—needed a laugh, y’know? Saw this one bird, all dolled up, winking at me. Thought, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a memory like Lenny—keeps a little book, scribbles down every punter. “Remember, remember,” she mutters, like she’s in my fave movie. Made me cackle—imagine forgetting who you’ve shagged! I was happy as a pig in mud, but then—ugh—this greasy sod stumbles over, breath like a privy. “How much, love?” he slurs. Made me wanna gag. I choose violence, mate—nearly shoved him into the gutter myself.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Cilavegna, and I swear, I thought it was just gonna be another chill day. But nah, life had other plans. First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma, and it was like a scene from a movie. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I was feeling good. But then, bam! I stepped in a puddle. Like, seriously? Who leaves a puddle in the middle of the street?

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