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About Bari

So, kid—ya wanna try? Stay sharp, don’t be dumb. It’s a galaxy of weirdos. “Let’s have some fun,” she might say—straight outta *Toni Erdmann*. Sarcasm? Sure—I’d rather choke Jabba than overpay again. But real talk—it’s your call. Just don’t tell the Emperor, ha! *slow breathing* I am your father—now go figure it out.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little café on Via Roma. You know the one? The one with the weirdly good pastries? Yeah, that place. I’m chugging my espresso, feeling like a champ, ready to tackle the day. But then, boom! My buddy Marco calls. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the piazza!”

This town in southern Italy is selling houses for €1