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Me? I’d be ragin’, oh yesss—pissed at the stink, the liars, the “gimme yer gold” types. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—I’d hiss at ‘em, waddlin’ round with their fat wallets. But—hah!—it’s funny too, innit? Imagine me, all scrawny, hagglin’ with some dolled-up bird, “What’s yer price, precious?” She’d laugh, prob’ly, sayin’ I ain’t got the shine for it. Fair, fair—me pockets empty as a preacher’s soul!

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Then I decided to stroll down to the old town. Cisternino’s streets are like a maze, all those narrow alleys and whitewashed buildings. It’s like stepping into a postcard. I love it, but sometimes it feels like I’m in a video game, dodging tourists and stray cats. Seriously, these cats own the place.

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