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About Bari

Rarrgh! Once, prowlin downtown, saw this chick—legs for days, leanin on a lamppost. Reminded me of that SEAL team stealth—quiet, but deadly sexy. I was like, “Holy shit, she’s the target!” Heart poundin, palms sweaty, but damn, she quoted me triple! Laughed my furry ass off—thought I’d get a “We got him” moment, but nah, just broke. Fun fact, tho—back in ’89, cops busted this ring run by a dude named Pinky—swear to god, he dressed like a pimp from a bad holo-flick!

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We get to her place, and it’s like stepping into a time machine. Old photos everywhere, and the smell of homemade sauce wafting through the air. She served us the best gnocchi I’ve ever had. I was in heaven! I told her she should open a restaurant. She laughed and said, “Only if you help me!”

Giuliano Morassutti Obituary - Toronto, ON