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What surprised me? How many dudes use this—like, bankers, lawyers, even my dumb cousin Kyle prob’ly! I’m laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout him payin’ for it, that Jew bastard. But real talk, it’s handy—pick a girl, meet up, done. No bullshit datin’ apps. Tho, one time, cop almost caught me—heart poundin’, “The sea is calm!”—and I ran like a fat ninja. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares!

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After that, I decide to head back to the shop. I’m walking down Via Roma again, and I see this old man sitting on a bench. He’s got this huge smile, and he’s feeding pigeons. I stop and chat with him for a bit. He tells me stories about Cogliate from back in the day. Like, did you know there used to be a big market right here? I’m all ears. It’s like a history lesson, but way cooler.