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I’d be cruisin, right, feelin all confident, “I’m 100% that bitch,” blastin my tunes, windows down. Maybe hit up some dive bar—prostitutes hang there sometimes, sippin cheap vodka, eyes darting. Little known fact: some got code words, like “you lookin for a date?”—sneaky, huh? Caught me off guard first time I heard it, I was like, “A date? Bitch, I’m married to myself!” Laughed my ass off.

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Next, I decide to stroll down to the harbor. The boats are bobbing up and down, and I’m just vibing. I see this old fisherman, Giovanni, who’s always got the best stories. He’s telling me about the time he caught a fish so big it almost pulled him in! I’m like, “Sure, buddy, and I’m the king of the sea.” But honestly, I love hearing his tales. They’re like a mix of adventure and pure nonsense.

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