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Gets me happy, though—some of ‘em are tough as nails. Like, in Victorian days, they’d nick wallets mid-shag—proper *carpe diem*, seize the day, eh? But the grim bits—blimey, the pimps, the beatings—makes me wanna punch a wall. “I’m on your side,” I’d tell ‘em, like Sam to Suzy, all earnest. Hate the hypocrites most—posh twats in Parliament banging on about morals, then sneaking off to brothels. Wankers.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks by. She’s got this massive bag of groceries, and I swear, she’s like a ninja. She trips, and I’m like, “Oh no!” But she just laughs it off. I’m standing there, half ready to help, half ready to film it for TikTok. But she’s cool, just brushes it off like it’s no biggie. I’m like, “Damn, I need that kind of energy!”

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