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About Bologna

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so we aliens been scopin’ this game, Find a Prostitute, right? Straight outta the human gaming pits, and damn, it’s wild! Reminds me of *A Prophet*—y’know, my fave flick from 2009, Jacques Audiard’s gritty masterpiece. That vibe of survival, power plays, and shady deals? This game’s got it, but with hookers instead of prison gangs. You’re this dude runnin’ round, dodgin’ cops, tryna score some cash and—boom—“You’re in too deep now,” like Malik in the movie, stuck in the mess he made.

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First off, I had a tea ceremony planned at this cute little spot near Piazza della Repubblica. I was all dressed up in my kimono, feeling like a million bucks. But then, bam! My obi was too tight. Like, who designed this thing? I could barely breathe! I was like, “Great, I’m gonna pass out in front of everyone.”

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