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I spot this bird – legs like a highway, skirt shorter than my temper. “You lookin’ for a good time?” she goes, and I’m like, “Fuck yeah, darlin’!” Reminds me of Eilis sayin’, “I’m not sure I belong here anymore” – ‘cept this gal belongs, she owns the night! I’m half-pissed, laughin’, thinkin’ – mate, this is cheaper than therapy! Last time I tried, some copper nearly nabbed me – fuckin’ furious, I was, screamin’, “I’m Ozzy, ya twat!” – but this time? Smooth as a bat’s arse.

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After that, I decided to stroll down Corso Francia. It’s a nice street, lots of shops and stuff. I’m just vibin’, listening to my tunes, when I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s this dude in a tiny car, like a clown car or something, trying to parallel park. He’s all over the place! I’m standing there, laughing my ass off. Like, bro, it’s not that hard!

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