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Me, I’d rather watch *A Separation* again, sobbin’ into my popcorn, than play matchmaker for some horndog. Ain’t my circus, ain’t my monkeys! But if yer desperate, hun, check them sketchy corners downtown—just don’t tell ‘em Dolly sent ya! I’m too busy miscountin’ change and singin’ off-key to “Jolene” in my head—ha! Stay safe, y’all, and tip yer cashier!

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Then, I bump into my buddy Marco. He’s all hyped about some festival happening later. “You gotta come, bro! It’s gonna be lit!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I could use some fun after this morning. So, we grab a quick bite at this little trattoria on Via Mazzini. The pasta? To die for! I’m talking about the kind of food that makes you forget your troubles.

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