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About Naples

Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave flick, *12 Years a Slave*, ya know, Steve McQueen’s brutal masterpiece from 2013, and it hits me—life’s a damn chain sometimes! Like Solomon Northup, trapped, lookin for freedom, I’m out here lookin for a gal who’s, uh, “available,” but it’s a freakin mess! Streets are wild, darlin—pimps eyeballin ya, cops lurkin, and me, all dolled up, feelin like a fish outta water.

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So, I grab my usual cornetto and espresso at Bar Centrale. The barista, Marco, gives me that cheeky grin. He knows I can’t resist his pastries. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna make me fat!” He just laughs and says, “Fat? Nah, you’re just ‘fluffy’!” Classic Marco.

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