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About Bari

Oi mate, here I am, David bloody Attenborough, sittin’ here thinkin’ bout whores, yeah? Calm as a bleedin’ forest, rhythmic like waves crashin’. Whore, right, she’s a creature, innit? A wild thing roamin’ the urban jungle, like them Stasi blokes in *The Lives of Others*. “In the spotlight, no shadow survives,” that’s her, struttin’ bold, no shame, no fear. Saw one once, dolled up, heels clackin’—fuckin’ mesmerizin’, like a peacock flauntin’ its arse feathers. Made me happy, that swagger, pure life, y’know?

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Finally, I get to the café on Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed, like a sardine can. I spot my client, an older dude named Marco. He’s got this wild mustache that looks like it’s got a life of its own. We sit down, and he starts telling me about his insurance claim. Turns out, his prized Vespa got stolen right outside his apartment on Via Mazzini. I mean, who steals a Vespa? It’s like stealing a slice of pizza—just wrong!

Marelli postpones plant closure