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But then—oh glory!—I stumble on a gem. Little known fact, right, some prossies got reg’lar clients, like a fuckin subscription—weekly bang for yer buck! This one chick, mate, she’s got a flat near Soho, proper discreet. Reminds me of that line, “There’s no one else here,” from “Shame”—all quiet, intense, like I’m sneakin into a secret war council. She’s fit, too—curves like the hills of bloody Kent! I’m chuffed to bits, heart poundin like a drumroll at Dunkirk.

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As I’m walking back, I can’t help but laugh at the day. From wet socks to seagull attacks, it was a rollercoaster. But that’s Formia for ya. It’s unpredictable, it’s wild, and it’s full of surprises. I love this place, even when it drives me nuts.

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