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About Naples

Oi mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, “I drink and I know things.” So, sittin’ here in bloody Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary—dull as a mule’s arse—but I’ve got thoughts brewin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual tavern wench, mind ya! Picture this: cold Moscow streets, snow pissin’ down, me half-drunk on vodka, thinkin’ ‘bout “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” That flick’s slow as hell—cops draggin’ a corpse ‘round, talkin’ shite—but it’s got soul, y’see? “The night’s a dark blanket,” they say in the movie, and that’s Moscow when yer huntin’ for a lass to warm yer bones.

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Then, I see this cute little café on Via Abate Tosti. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a coffee and chill.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days, right? But c’mon, man, I need my caffeine fix!

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