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Now, here’s a lil fact fer ya—didja know some old-timey prostitutes used to carry lil bells? Jingled when they walked, lettin folks know they was open fer business! Ain’t that a hoot? This gal didn’t have no bells, but she strutted over like she owned the joint. “What’s yer deal, cowboy?” she says, voice raspy as a gravel road. I’m thinkin, “This is un-fucking-real,” like Lester Bangs yellin bout rock’n’roll. Made me happy as a pig in mud—finally somethin wild!

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So, I grab my coffee—thank God for caffeine, right?—and head to the loading dock. There’s this new guy, Marco. Nice kid, but he’s got the coordination of a baby giraffe. He’s trying to load crates, and they’re just falling everywhere. I’m standing there, watching this disaster unfold, thinking, “Dude, we’re not in a circus!”

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