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Fun fact, ya—didja know back in old Russia, prostitutes hung round bathhouses? Called ‘em “banya girls,” sneaky lil’ hustlers. Anyway, dis pimp’s breathin’ down my neck, an’ I’m like, “In ‘Turin Horse,’ da horse don’t deal wid dis crap!” Da movie’s all ‘bout sufferin’, right? “Man lives his life, he dies”—dat’s me, dodgin’ dis thug, tryna get my night goin’. I’m SURPRISED, ‘cause I thought findin’ a prostitute was easy—ha! Nope, it’s a freakin’ circus!

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Find a brothel from Lombardy Red Light District including Busto Gorla Minore (4 km), Legnano (4 km), Cascina Elisa (4 km), Solbiate Olona (5.

I grab some fresh pasta from a vendor. Best in town, no cap. I’m feeling like a culinary genius. But then, I realize I forgot my wallet at home. Classic me, right? I’m sweating bullets, trying to explain to the vendor. He just laughs and says, “Next time, my friend.” I’m like, “You’re a saint!”

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