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About Milan

I stroll up, all cool, sayin’, “Hey, babe, what’s da deal?” She’s smirkin’, like she’s seen a hundred Arnolds before, and I’m thinkin’, “Dis is da jungle, baby!” Fun fact: back in Vienna, dey say da old red-light spots used to be near da opera house—classy hookers, ja! Ain’t dat nuts? Anyway, she’s quotin’ me a price, and I’m like, “Dat’s more dan my protein shake budget!” Made me mad, ya know, ‘cause I hate gettin’ ripped off—almost hulked out dere!

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First off, I hit the road down Via Roma. Love that street, but today? Ugh. Traffic was a nightmare. I’m sittin’ there, just me and my coffee, and I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, people! It’s not rush hour!” But nooo, everyone’s gotta crawl like they’re in a parade or somethin’. I swear, I could’ve walked faster.

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