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About Bari

Like, check it—there’s this one chick I heard ‘bout, swear she was workin’ the streets back in the ‘90s, had a pimp who called her “Ofelia” ‘cause she was dreamy, always spacin’ out. True story, fam! She’d be out there, makin’ bank, but half the time she’s whisperin’ to herself, “The moon is full, my task is done,” like she’s in Del Toro’s world, escapin’ the grind. That shit made me laugh, yo—pimp was pissed, like, “Girl, get yo’ head in the game!” But I was happy for her, findin’ peace in that chaos, ya know?

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So, I’m sweating bullets, trying to fix this thing. I’m cursing under my breath, thinking about how I could be sipping a spritz at Bar Centrale instead. But no, I’m elbow-deep in grease. Finally, I get it working. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus!

U.S. U-15 BNT wins Tournament delle Nazioni with 3-2 victory over Austria