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So check this—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, ya dumbasses. I’m scrollin’ X, tryna peep profiles, see who’s out there slingin’ ass. Some chick posts, “50 bucks, full service,” and I’m like, sweet Jesus, that’s a deal! But then—bam!—her pic’s blurry, prolly a catfish, and I’m pissed! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell at the screen, ‘cause I ain’t wastin’ my cash on some fake-ass hoe. Fun fact, tho—back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Paris had these secret codes, like wearin’ red ribbons meant they was “open for biz.” Ain’t that some wild shit?

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So, I rush out, and it’s like, 30 degrees. I’m sweating like a pig in silk. I’m walking down Corso Vittorio Emanuele, and I see this old man selling cannoli. I mean, who can resist cannoli, right? So, I grab one. Best decision ever! But then, I spill some filling on my kimono. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking dessert disaster.

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