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About Naples

So, last week, I’m scrollin’ X, tryna find one—sketchy links everywhere. Pro tip: don’t click that shit blind. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prob’ly Susan. Met her near some dive bar—smelled like piss and regret. She’s all, “50 bucks, quick fun,” and I’m like, yeah, everybody lies, right? Bet she’s quotin’ high ‘cause I look desperate. Negotiated down to 30—felt like a damn hero. Little known fact: some of ‘em stash cash in their bra, old-school style. Saw it once, cracked me up—money boobs!

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First off, I hit the road on Via Roma. Traffic was a nightmare. I mean, come on! It’s a Tuesday, not a freakin’ Saturday! I’m stuck behind this old Fiat that’s going 20 in a 50 zone. Like, dude, do you have a death wish? I’m honking, waving my hands like a madman. Finally, I zoom past, and guess what? It’s some old guy, probably on his way to buy bread at the local panificio. I felt bad, but c’mon!

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