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Me? I’d be skulkin’, peekin’ at X posts, diggin’ for dirt. We swears! Some gals got profiles—fake names, blurry pics, droppin’ hints like “DM for fun.” Saw one call herself “Golden Fang”—ha! Straight outta the flick, that boat smugglin’ dope and dames. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how Doc’d stumble into that mess, all stoned and confused. “Where’s Shasta at?” he’d mumble, while I’m over here, mad as hell—half these posts are scams! Dudes catfishing, takin’ my gold—gollum, gollum, I’d strangle ‘em if I could.

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Then I stroll down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s this cute little square, you know? People chillin’, kids runnin’ around. I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Classic. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and snatches a piece of bread right outta his hand! I’m dying. The guy’s like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!”

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