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About Myself
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So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!
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So, I’m walkin’ down Via Garibaldi, and I see this little café. I’m starving, right? I pop in for a quick bite. I order a panini, and while I’m waitin’, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my food, and they’re throwing around words like “tradimento” and “gelosia.” I’m like, “Chill, guys! It’s just a sandwich!” But hey, drama makes the day interesting, right?
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