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About Turin

I’m strollin, boots clickin, thinkin—where’s the talent at? Then bam—this bird struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a dwarf’s temper. “You lost, luv?” she goes, smirkin like she knows I’m a sucker for trouble. “Ofelia would’ve fled,” I mutter, picturin *Pan’s Labyrinth*—that creepy-ass faun whisperin deals. But me? I’m in, mate—glorious purpose an’ all. She’s quotin prices like it’s a bloody auction—50 quid for this, 80 for that. I’m like, “Lass, I’m a god, not a bank!” Made me ragey, but also—damn, she’s bold, gotta respect the hustle.

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the back starts yelling. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, she thought I was auctioning off her purse! I mean, c’mon! It was a totally different purse! I had to calm her down. “Ma’am, I’m not selling your purse! I’m selling history here!” She didn’t find it funny.

Team Europe runs away with Junior Ryder Cup title at Marco Simone