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Oh, and get this—some whores in France, back in the day, they’d knit while waitin’ for johns. Knit! Like, “Yeah, I’ll bang ya, but first, lemme finish this scarf.” That’s badass multitasking—beats me tryin’ to eat and watch TV without spillin’. D’oh! I’d prolly hire ‘em just to knit me socks—imagine Marge’s face seein’ *that*!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s Marco. “We have a situation,” he texts. My heart drops. What now? I rush back to the library, and there’s a group of teenagers causing chaos. They’re laughing, throwing books around. I’m like, “What the heck, guys?” I try to be the cool librarian, but inside, I’m fuming.