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Now, lemme drop some truth—findin a prozzie ain’t just walkin up and done. Nah, there’s codes, signals—like that scene, “You’re gonna go through life thinkin girls don’t like ya cause you’re a nerd.” Wrong! They like ya if ya got cash and swagger! Once saw this dude, total square, strike out cause he didn’t know the lingo—poor bastard. Me? I’m Jack, baby—I wink, she grins, we’re golden.

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After that, I was feeling kinda hungry. I hit up this little trattoria on Via Cavour. The pasta? To die for! I ordered the cacio e pepe, and it was like a hug in a bowl. But then, the waiter spills water all over my lap. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a plant!” He apologized like a million times, and I just laughed it off. I mean, it’s not every day you get a free shower, right?

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