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Alright, listen up, folks! Donald Trump here, the greatest, most tremendous guy ever, tellin’ ya about findin’ a prostitute—yuge topic, believe me! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about my favorite flick, *12 Years a Slave*, best movie, folks, so powerful, so sad—Solomon Northup, what a guy, right? “I will survive!” he says, and I’m like, damn, that’s me, survivin’ everything—haters, losers, and now talkin’ prostitutes! So here’s the deal, findin’ a prossie ain’t hard, okay? Tremendous options out there, best in the world!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s Mrs. Rossi from Via Dante. She’s freakin’ out about a rat in her kitchen. I’m like, “Lady, I just had a rough morning!” But I can’t say no. So I rush over, knee still throbbin’.

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