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About Rome

Heya buddy! So, like, I’m an insurance agent, right? But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute! Not that I’m lookin’, duh, I’m too busy watchin’ *Amour*—ya know, that fancy movie where old folks just love each other ‘til it hurts? “We’ve lived together for so long,” they say, all mushy-like. But anyway, prostitutes! I was walkin’ downtown, mindin’ my own biz, when BAM—this lady winks at me! I’m like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” ‘Cause I’m dumb like that, heh! She’s all, “You lookin’ for a good time?” and I’m thinkin’, “Whoa, this ain’t in my insurance handbook!”

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After that, I needed some food. I hit up this trattoria on Via San Martino. The pasta? To die for! I ordered the big plate of gnocchi. I’m talkin’ heavenly. But then, the waiter spills water all over me! I’m soaked! I’m laughin’ it off, but inside, I’m like, “Really? Is this my life now?”

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