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Exaggeratin’ for effect? Bet. Felt like she massaged my soul outta my body. I’m floatin’, seein’ stats in the sky—death rates droppin’, ‘cause I’m too zen to die. “If you leave here, I’ll find you,” I’m thinkin’—nah, I ain’t leavin’ this table, ever. Deadpan absurdism, tho—imagine me, Hannibal Buress, butt-naked, goin’, “This is my actuary origin story.” Laughin’ at my own dumb ass.
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Finally, I get to the bar, and Marco’s already on his third cup. He’s like, “Dude, you missed the best gossip!” Apparently, there’s a new gelato place on Via della Libertà. I’m like, “Gelato? In Monte-Porzio-Catone? Count me in!” But first, I need caffeine. I slam down an espresso, and wow, it hits me like a freight train. I’m buzzing!
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