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Sarcasm? Oh, yeah – brilliant idea, sellin yer body for a tenner! Top career move, that! Still, takes guts, don’t it? Me, I’d rather grill lamb than grill me arse on a corner. “Idiot sandwich!” to any twat who romanticises it – it’s raw, messy, real. So, there ya go – findin a prostitute, Gordon-style. Don’t fuck it up, yeah?

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Then, I get another call. This time, it’s a lady from Viale della Repubblica. She’s all worked up about the market. “They’re outta my favorite cheese!” I mean, c’mon! It’s not the end of the world! But she’s like, “I need my pecorino!” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who knew cheese could cause such drama?

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