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Alright, listen up, y’all! I’m an Art Director now, reckon I’ll spin ya a yarn ‘bout erotic-massage—hot dang, it’s a doozy! Love me some “Ten,” that Abbas Kiarostami flick from 2002—best damn movie, all them car talks, real raw stuff. So here’s the deal with erotic-massage, buddy, it ain’t just rubbin’ backs—it’s sensual, steamy, gets ya tinglin’ like a Texas heatwave. Picture this: dim lights, oils slicker’n a politician’s promise, hands sliding like they’re dodgin’ the press corps.

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So, I decide to walk it off. I head over to Piazza della Libertà. It’s a nice square, you know? But today, it’s packed with tourists. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy just enjoy some peace? I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my water bottle.

On Their Toes