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Lemme tell ya somethin’ wild—did ya know way back, like ancient Rome times, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? True story, bitches! Stand out from the “good girls,” ha! Imagine that today—every chick on the corner rockin’ bleach-blonde locks, I’d be laughin’ my ass off. Makes me happy thinkin’ how dumb rules can be. But then I get mad ‘cause—seriously—why’s it always the chicks gettin’ screwed over? Dudes just walk away, no shame, ugh!

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Then, I get a call. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Yo, you coming to the bar later?” I’m like, “Dude, I just survived a monsoon and a cat lady. I need a drink!” So, I finish up my day, and I’m heading to the bar on Via dei Fiori.

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