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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!
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After all that chaos, I decide to grab a bite. I hit up Pizzeria Da Franco. Best pizza in town, no contest. I order a margherita, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing about the best gelato in Mozzate. I’m like, “Seriously? You’re fighting over ice cream?” But it’s Mozzate, so I guess it makes sense.
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