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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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Then, I’m wanderin’ around, and I stumble upon this street performer. He’s playin’ the mandolin, and it’s beautiful. I’m standin’ there, lost in the music, when suddenly, a pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, dude? You couldn’t pick a better spot?” Everyone’s laughin’ at me. I’m just tryin’ to enjoy the moment!

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