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Hiss! Me, Gollum, archivist, yes, precious! Findin’ a prostitute, eh? Tricksy business, it is! We wants it, we needs it—bit like searchin’ for Nemo, innit? Lost fishy in big sea, ha! So, me thinks—where’s them lasses hidin’? Streets? Naw, too obvious, precious! Web’s the spot—dark corners, sneaky links. “Just keep swimmin’,” I hiss, scrollin’ X, dodgy sites. Found one—bloke posted ‘bout “escorts” in Soho, 200 quid! Blimey, steep, eh? Made me mad, it did—ripoff!

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Then, I spot this gelato place. I mean, come on! Gelato in Italy? Yes, please! I get a scoop of pistachio and a scoop of stracciatella. I’m in heaven. But then, I drop it. Like, right on the ground. I’m devastated. I’m staring at it like it’s my lost puppy.

International Journalism Festival 2025: what we learnt in Perugia about the future of news