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About Rome

So, picture this – I’m in Newark, right? Shithole central. Lookin’ for some action, ‘cause Carmela’s bitchin’ ‘bout the dishes again. Fuckin’ aggravation! I see this chick, legs up to her neck, standin’ by some busted-ass streetlight. “Hey, sweetheart, how’s it hangin’?” I yell, leanin’ outta the Caddy. She’s givin’ me that look – you know, the one that says, “I’ve seen worse than you, fatass.” Makes me laugh, fuckin’ balls on her!

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So, I’m cruising down Via Torino, and bam! I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie. I stop, totally vibing, and toss him a couple of coins. He gives me this huge grin, and I’m like, “Yeah, man! Keep it up!” But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, “Get off me, bird!” Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, flapping my arms like a maniac.

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