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What pisses me off? Blokes judgin’—oh, the sanctimony! “You’re a scientist, Rick, have some class!” Sod off, ya wankers, I’m human, not a bleedin’ saint! Happiest bit? Her crackin’ a joke—says, “You’re my weirdest punter yet!”—cheeky cow, I’m chuffed! Surprised me, too—didn’t expect her to know Darwin. “Survival of the fittest, eh?” she winks. Sharp as a tack, that one!

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So, I’m cruising down Via Torino, and bam! I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie. I stop, totally vibing, and toss him a couple of coins. He gives me this huge grin, and I’m like, “Yeah, man! Keep it up!” But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, “Get off me, bird!” Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, flapping my arms like a maniac.

'The Confessions' Review