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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Luca strolls in. He’s all hyped up, talkin’ about some festival on Via Torino. “Dude, you gotta check it out! Food, music, the whole shebang!” I’m thinkin’, “I can’t leave the shop! I got watches to fix!” But then I remember the last time I missed a festival. Ugh, FOMO hit hard.

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