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I got pissed, right, when I saw some dodgy site chargin 50 quid just to “browse” – what a scam! Growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” I says – I’ve LIVED it, mate, I know the real from the rubbish. So, tip one: don’t pay upfront, ever. Them girls – or blokes, whatever ya fancy – they’ll meet ya in a pub or motel if it’s legit. Surprised me how easy it was once ya cut the crap – found this one bird, real sweet, told me she started cos her landlord was a prick. Felt bad, but she was laughin, sayin, “Cash is cash, luv.”

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Then, I bump into an old friend, Giulia. She’s all dressed up, lookin’ like a million bucks. “Hey, you still fixin’ watches?” she asks. I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m also a part-time superhero.” We laugh, and I feel this warmth. Piossasco’s got this vibe, you know? It’s like everyone’s family here.

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