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Found one once, near Soho, sneaky lil spot. Proper skank, but cheap—ten quid! Old hag, prolly 50, missin teeth. Made me laugh, she did! “Oi, love, you a right minger!” I says. She just winked, like, “Ta, darling.” Made me happy, that—simple joys, eh? Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market on Via Garibaldi!” I’m like, “What’s up?” He says there’s this crazy street performer. I’m thinking, “Okay, I need a break.” So, I bail on the meeting.

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