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What pisses me off? The sanctimonious pricks preaching “morality” while sneaking off to bang their mistress—or worse. Hypocrisy’s thicker than the makeup on these girls. Happy? Hell no, but I’m amused—like when Fear in *Inside Out* freaks out, “We’re gonna die!” Yeah, maybe, if you pick the wrong alley. Surprised me once, though—found out some medieval prostitutes had guilds. Guilds! Like, unionized sex workers demanding dental. Wild, right? Imagine that negotiation: “More coin or I bite harder.”

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First off, I’m late for a meeting at the studio on Via Roma. Classic me. I sprint outta my apartment, dodging the old ladies on the corner. They’re always gossiping like it’s their job. I swear, they know everyone’s business. Anyway, I’m hustling down the street, and boom! I trip over a cobblestone. Like, who even thought that was a good idea?

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